ONE MULLIGAN PER HOLE
El Monte, Watercolor, 20" x 29", Richard J Van Wagoner, Courtesy of Helen Bero-Van Wagoner and Richard A. Van Wagoner**
Bucking more than a century of sacred canon, Trump Golf, with world-class golf courses from Scotland to Palm Beach to Los Angeles to Dubai, just announced plans to expand each course by at least one fairway and green. These well-laid plans to expand each course to a minimum of 19 holes began long before the formal announcement. The announcement also revealed plans to add a number of practice greens at each resort, at the nominal cost of $130,000 per green. Trump Golf did so without seeking input from the scores of golf associations throughout the world, including the USGA, the PGA, or The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews.
Untitled, Watercolor, 14.5" x 8", Richard J Van Wagoner, Courtesy of Van Wagoner Family Trust**
In an unusual turn of events, self-proclaimed golf pro Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council—who, as it happens, is also a self-ordained guru in The USGA Rules of Golf and The Rules of Amateur Status—quickly jumped to Trump Golf’s defense:
“Trump Golf’s courses are different from all other courses in the world. So what if people play on sanctioned courses with an established set of rules by which the rest of the civilized golf world abides? People who come to any of Trump Golf’s world class resorts expect and experience something different, something beyond anything they get at any of the sanctioned golf courses everywhere else in the world. For that reason Trump Golf created its own set of rules and embarked on this new golf course design. I think it will revolutionize the game. It might take professionals and other elitist golfers time to come around to Trump Golf’s way of thinking about the game, but the hackers are already on board.”
Untitled, Watercolor, 10" x 29", Richard J Van Wagoner, Courtesy of Van Wagoner Family Trust**
Perkins continued: “Golf has always had its cheaters but at Trump Golf, stroke enhancement is the norm. No one cares. Think your putt’s a ‘gimme’? Just take it—no permission needed. And because Trump Golf employs its own handicap system and grants every duffer one mulligan per hole—unless, of course, he needs two—there’s no need to fill in a score card until you’ve taken a peek at everyone else’s.”
*My brother the very talented fiction writer and novelist, Robert Hodgson Van Wagoner, deserves considerable credit for offering both substantive and technical suggestions to lastamendment.com
**My daughter Angela Moore, a professional photographer, photographed nearly 500 pieces of my father's work. On behalf of the Van Wagoner Family Trust, she is in the process of compiling a collection of his art work. The photographs of my father's art reproduced in lastamendment.com are hers.